...I don' think of all the misery but the beauty, that still remain....
After one week in Gilis and 3 weeks in Ubud I am finally back home in Canggu.This place is definitely what I am calling home here in Bali. I am back again at the same place and even at the same room. Back to my friends Owen, Andy, Agustin, Lisa, Kim, Dee and two new family members Niki and Yannick. Most of us living at the same guesthouse with a big lovely local family. Everybody has his own room but we share the kitchen. We spend a lot of time together, eating, going out, enjoying the sunsets, going for some trips, some of us surf every day (me still not, even I live in surfers paradise).
Canggu has several really good fancy places to eat very good and healthy food. The problem is, that I can't afford doing this every day as it is expensive (if you are not on holidays here :-). I buy my fruits at the market mostly and I really love the local warungs (small indonesian restaurant, whit simple typical cheap food). My favourite is still Nasi Campur (kind of buffet, which various food like tofu, tempe (pressed soy beans), curries, chicken, mie and nasi goreng. Sooo delicious.
But the best thing over everything is, that I am finally me again. It took me nearly two months now to just feel relaxed, my mind is relaxed, I am completely happy with myself again. I had to do this break from my previous life in Germany, otherwise I would gone crazy already. Stress, consume, work, people complaining about every little unimportant thing (me mostly), waiting the week to be weekend, waiting the months until going travelling again, waiting to the day to be happy again and when I look back...This was the best thing ever, and everybody who says to me, he/she can't! This is absolutely not true!!! People are just comfortable, to step out their comfort zone. I met so many people here who exactly did the same. Of course you can't just go without nothing. I saved many the whole last year, I sold everything I don't need and now I am here, with my two backpacks and more happy then ever. What do you really need to be happy? For me this is not a car anymore, this is not a well equipped apartment, a lot of expensive shoes or clothes. I wear my shirt 3 days in a row I owe only one pair of flipflops and nobody, me at least, don't care about it. My skin is taned, I can go swimming everyday in the ocean, I still date the most beautiful guy in the world sometimes ;-), I got 3 new tattoos (and no I still will more) by my friend Noah, I sit on my scooter (and I loooove the traffic here :-), heat in my meanwhile pretty long hair, and just drive around, collecting smiles from all the people living here, exploring villages I probably would never find again. Of course maybe there's the day, when I wake up and say, I don't want this life anymore. I miss everything in Germany and I just want to go back. And if this day should come, I will come back, but at least I had a great time in life and I regret nothing!
So many good things happened already here, and at the end only two bad things...which turned back into positive again. My scooter, which got stollen came back and I got my whole money back from the rental. My creditcard got skimmed but at the end I was lucky, as they couldn't manage stealing my money as my bank already blocken the card. Maybe my karma is not that bad ;-). I am super calm (a feeling I usually didn't knew before) and this morning I found myself being angry, because one of those tourists ladies drow a car at the shortcut, which is not really open for the cars, but at the end the local drivers can handle it. European tourists can NOT!!!!!!! She nearly crashed me down to the rice paddies and this was the moment when my serbian temperament came back and I told her what I had on my mind.
I had to realize that teaching yoga, or even finding another kind of job here seems impossible, because of no work permit. The government is very strict here, which is at the end a big plus for the local people, as no foreigner can't take their jobs anymore that easy. This is what I call taking care of the own citizens, something which doesn't really work anymore in Germany. But this means for me that I already have some new plans, new country and the idea sounds meanwhile too good in my mind and in my heart. I am not going to tell which country as it's still in planning.
My heart brakes of just thinking of leaving Bali, as I love this place with all my heart, but changes are the best things in life, I realize now...
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